miss understood

finals R over!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
actually they were over last friday... but i was like sick so like... TODAY i'm feeling better lol.

um. hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm very hyper (duh???)
so yeah. hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hum hum hum.... *dances* hi guys.

i will now proceed to post random song quote in no particular order. thank you.

Chances thrown

Nothing's free

Longing for what used to be

Still it's hard

Hard to see

Fragile lives, shattered dreams

(don't look that song up it has some bad words)

(Edge Of The Ocean by Ivy)

There's a place I dream about

Where the sun never goes out

And the sky is deep and blue

Won't you take me there with you?

Ohhh, we can begin again

Shed our skin, let the sun shine in

At the edge of the ocean

We can start over again

There's a world I've always known

Somewhere far away from home

When I close my eyes I see

All the space and mystery

Ohhh, we can begin again

Shed our skin, let the sun shine in

At the edge of the ocean

We can start over again

You once made this promise
To stay by my side

But after some time you just pushed me aside

You never thought that a girl could be strong

Now I'll show you how to go on

(again the rest of this song is eh)

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight, there's only you and me.

I've heard this life is overrated

But I hope that it gets better as we go.

It gets hard but it won't take away my love

And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.

It gets hard but it won't take away my love

You've found hope

You've found faith,

Found how fast she could take it away.

Found true love,

Lost your heart.

Now you don't know who you are.

She made it easy,

Made it free,

Made you hurt til you couldn't see.

Sometimes it stops,

Sometimes it flows,

But baby that is how love goes.

You will fly and you will crawl;

God knows even angels fall.

No such thing as you lost it all.

God knows even angels fall.

let's just say...

2006-11-14T18:04:00.000-08:00

hi guys. i'm having like a really really really hard week...
i typed everything that happend out... but i don't really wanna complain. just please pray for me when you think of it :)
miss you guys,
~Vani

butterfly

2006-11-11T16:12:00.000-08:00

made a new wallpaper to relax... :)
~Vani
P.S. hi

i live in chem lab

2006-11-02T18:25:00.000-08:00

hi guys.

YES!!!

2006-10-24T22:51:00.000-07:00

had a pretty bad day today... but that's not why i'm here.

if you've got 2 minutes, read this. my mom has always said something similar... :)
i totally agree with it. go read it now and then read the rest of my post
http://www.christiangoth.com/halloweenopinion.htm

we're Christians, and there is nothing our God cannot do! why do we hide from satan if we need not fear him?
and especally what he said about the kids that say "thank you" and "please"... see, i've answered the door... and so many kids run up, ring the door bell, grab the treats and run off. most of them will slurr "trickortreat" but...
i don't know... i just don't see anywhere we can't go in groups. sure, the world is a big scary place... and sure, i'd say that satan has more power on haloween... but his power is NOTHING compaired to our God's power! and the only reason satan has more power is because we are afraid. we seem to think he has more power... perhaps even power over us if we are not at our church or with people from church. but Jesus never said anything about fearing satan! never ever never. we're His children, and He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able.
Sure, life may not be easy... but through Christ, we can succeed in every situation He places us in.

i don't know... maybe just something to think about.
i have to go sleep... hope you're all doing well.

glass is sharp when you break it.

2006-10-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

cut myself in chem lab today... we had to break (purposefully!!!) this glass thing cause it was too long for our experiment... i managed to cut myself... lol.
it's not bad and i didn't get glass in it or anything... lol.

um... i've been sick since friday and today it's pretty bad. i'm also working on a 200 word spanish thing which really isn't that bad i just have to get it done and figure out how to do accent marks which are fine and exclamation points upside down which i cannot find so i have to go to the online program thing and get them there!

whoo.... i'm really tired i got like 5 hours of sleep last night... but i'm back to being fine on like 5-6 hours a night so whoohoo!!! that's what i've been getting all week. (maybe that's why i'm still sick?) lol...

miss you all a ton!!! i'm having a blast at school though quite honestly the quarter is like half over and i don't feel like i've learned much... i mean sure we have, but it's just hard to see...

i'm going to spend an entire year studdying carbon and slope... (also known as organic chemistry and calculus) kinda sad when you think about it, but also very cool when you think about it... i mean our world is just so complicated that you can spend a year studdying carbon and slope and not even begin to really scratch the surface. we have learned some really cool things in organic chem so far... it's kinda nice cause it's very concept based... you get the concept, you apply the concept, you move on. general chem seemed so worried about the little details... lol.
although i think there's more memorizing in organic chem... and no math!!! i wasn't really enjoying it as much as general chem till we started doing isomers and mirror images and figuring out weather something was R or S...
the cool thing about that is that i'm one of the people who can flip and twist 3D models in my head... so it's easier for me that for people who can't (which appears to be most of the class!) and yeah... it's just so awesome. i guess ususally i have to work really hard to be good at stuff, but this is something you either have or you don't have cause it's just how your brain works. it's really neat to see how each one of us has to do the problems a little differently, just cause we have to make it make sense in our brains.

i drive to school and back like totally asleep... i mean i got all the way to the freeway this afternoon before i even really realized i was driving... it's so automatic... lol... college (at least navigating between classrooms and driving) is kinda one of those things that you get so good at you could do it in your sleep (which is important cause most of the time you do it in your sleep!)
don't worry though, i'm not soo tired that i'll fall asleep. i'm actually staying awake better this week than last week... i guess your body just adjusts???

math is awesome... on the one hand what we're doing is so simple... but then i remind myself that it's getting to that poin that's hard... i mean, it's all the background stuff that most people struggle with...
and it's great, we've been doing so much algebraic stuff that i'm so much more confident with things like e and e^x and stuff like that... and i'm fast with fractional exponents and negative exponents... which aren't that hard, but now i can do them in my sleep. (haha?)

our math teacher is awesome. i think a huge problem with our school systems is that we have people who aren't really good at math (or simply not math brained) teaching algebra and they don't have a passion for it and they aren't able to explain it in a way to make it make sense.
i'm just saying that cause so many people have problems with... and trust me i've helped a lot of them... and for most of them you just have to explain it in the right way and they get it.
but yeah, and our math teacher is just like me (and most math brained people) who don't like to memorize anything at all and would be much happier if they could derive rules and stuff.
i do that... i do that on every subject, which means that sometimes how i remember things is totally a stretch and no one else would understand it...
but it's great because like... see, my pre-calc teacher exspected us to memorize a TON of stuff... and he's not math brained... he told our class that he hated math... how and why is he teaching math at college??? anyways... it just irritated me because memorizing stuff is not my thing. lol.

liking your teacher really helps... i mean it makes you want to do the homework, and show up to class every day... and you are just... happier with your grade and stuff. i mean, if a teacher you don't like gives you a B... and a teacher you like gives you a B you'll be soooo much happier with a B from the teacher you like whereas you'll probably complain about how unfair it is of the other teacher to give you a B.

chem is so amazing... i love the labs... (except for this one!!! everyone has already redone it like 5 times and i'm not even kidding) i only started it today and got 2 trials done... (neither very sucessful... my better trial i got 15% recovery... see you have to purify it by recrystalizing it and... *sigh* i guess none of you know what that means...)

well. i'm going to explain it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because it's sooooooooooo cool...
so. you have your solid powdery crude compound. (crude basically meaning impure (dirty!)) you take that and put a weighed (well... really we measure by mass...) amount in a flask (like a beaker only narrow at the top and wide at the bottom, triangle shaped almost) and then you boil some distilled water (water is what we used as our solvent) (and you don't really need it BOILING... just bubbling... you need it hot, that's the idea) THEN! the fun part... (or, if your name happends to be john or steve, the not so fun part...) you take an eye dropper thing and slowly add distilled water (the solvent) so that your compound disolves in the water. (just a side note, you pick a solvent so that your compound will disolve in it while it is hot, but not while it is cold) this part can be tricky because adding too much is bad and not adding enough is bad to! the tricky part was that not everything will disolve. (why? because if your crude sample has "trash" that isn't soluble (disolvable) by your solvent then obviously it won't disolve!) but you want all your compound to disolve... because otherwise you'll lose it. AND everything is like... the same color so you have no idea what is your compound and what is the "trash".........
so... like i said, if your name is steven or john then you'll add (WAY) too much water and have to boil some off... but if your name is vanima then you watch any present steves or johns and watch them mess up and know not to add too much.
THEN!..... basically... all we've done so far is disolve our compound in water. now we're going to pour it through filter paper to get rid of all those things that didn't disolve in the water!
now, the way this works is that your compound stays in the water and flows through... the insoluble trash stays behind on the filter paper and you just throw that away (it is trash after all...)
now you have warmish/hot water+compound in another flask... you let this sit for a bit on the counter to cool to room temp, then put it in an ice bath (simple water+ice in the bottom of a cut off 2 litter soda bottle) the reason you don't put it in the ice bath right away is because that could shatter the glass... leaving you with shattered glass and having to start all over!!!
hmhmhm... ok now that your water+compound is cooled to around 5 degrees C (just above freezing) you should see crystals!!! this was the coolest part... the water had like... little crystals floating in it everywhere and they were like... in the whole thing! it was amazing... i really wish you guys could see that... anyways... back to the lab... you then pour it onto another filter paper thing... only this time it's a really cool filter thing... that will suck the water (and any soluble trash) out of your compound, which will be left on top of the filter paper (get it? we used the fact that our compound disolved in hot water, but not cold to isolate it!!!)
then you really *should* leave it sitting overnight... to let it dry. we all did... but if you're in a hurry there are... ways... to make it dry. (insert evil laugh of your choice here)

our compound was very light... and it loved to fly off... so we lost a lot of sample simply by all of us walking around the lab increasing the air flow!!! (i'm not even kidding...) so we were like all cupping our hands around the weigh dishes and walking slowly so we wouldn't lose compound... lol...

i was able to recover 30% of the compound... you calculate this by taking your final mass and dividing by how much you started with (all in grams) and it gives you a precent. it wasn't bad... some people got closer to 40%, but i was happy with mine.

wow... ok... i'm done now!!!

nearly a month.

2006-10-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

Lithium...

don't want to lock me up inside.

Lithium...

don't want to forget how it feels without...

Lithium...

I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

oh i want to let it go...

come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.

couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.

never wanted it to be so cold.

just didn't drink enough to say you love me.

i can't hold on to me,

wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium...

don't want to lock me up inside.

Lithium...

don't want to forget how it feels without...

Lithium...

i want to stay in love with my sorrow.

don't want to let it lay me down this time.

drown my will to fly.

here in the darkness i know myself.

can't break free until i let it go.

let me go.

darling, i forgive you after all.

anything is better than to be alone.

and in the end i guess i had to fall.

always find my place among the ashes.

i can't hold on to me,

wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium...

don't want to lock me up inside.

Lithium...

don't want to forget how it feels without...

Lithium...

i'm gonna let it go...

LOST

2006-09-25T03:58:00.000-07:00

legolas greenleaf
answers to: lego
lost: recently
any details please contact me asap

farewell

2006-09-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

school starts tomorrow.

my trip was amazing... i'm going to write an e-mail telling how it was... (i'm not motivated right now, but there's nothing like homework that should be done to motivate people)

anyways. just wanted to say... if i disapear till christmas, you know why. *half smile* i'm kinda freaked out... lol.

*yawn* it's not cramming, it's immersion... (that is to say, i'm looking over my spanish book and doing the quizzes and stuff...)

bye all.
~Vani

don't have much time...

2006-09-06T13:27:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to make sure everyone knew... i'm leaving for New Orleans early friday morning.
dad and i are going to help rebuild homes that were destroyed in hurricane katrina.
i get back just a few days before school starts (which is on the 20th) so... i'll be gone till either the sunday or monday before the 20th.

everyone is really stressed out right now at home... it upsets me so much, i want to scream. nothing helps. i just want school to start so i can get away from it all. i haven't done much this summer and i'm upset with myself for becoming lazy... things are very hard at home right now. i've been trying to escape all summer...

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They're the ones that stay the same.
They can't see me,
But I'm still here.
(song from treasure planet)

i'm trying not to close up and shut everyone out, but i'm so tired of getting hurt.

i would love it if you'd pray for my trip. i have to go to work now...

God is so good...

2006-08-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

i am so relieved... see, i thought i had this week to turn in my CIS stuff but it was all due last week. pretty much... if the instructor decided to deduct 10% every day for every assignment that i hadn't turned in (as is stated in the syllabus) i would have...........

it's all ok though... God is taking care of me. the instructor isn't going to deduct anything... which is... amazing...

i really worked not to worry, i made myself sleep at night and didn't let myself think about it during the day... i knew that worrying wouldn't help anyways. i'm just so happy that it's all going to work out. God really does take care of everything even when you see no way out.

wow, i really do need to watch my dates more... i mean forgetting birthdays is one thing... but being a week behind in school is quite another. (good thing that God can handle anything, cause this sure was a big problem) i guess that is one thing you have to watch in an online class that you don't going to school... cause there is no way this would have happend if i were at school.

i just had to tell everyone... rejoyce with those who rejoyce... after all, you share in my troubles.

in God's capable hands,
~Vani

P.S. on a side note, i'd really like to put up a page about goths on my website and i would love it if everyone would write something for that... an oppinion, a question, a particular sin that perhaps goths (i) need to watch out for that may not have been a problem before... anything really, i'd like to put up as much as i can.

which part of KING don't you understand?

2006-08-19T19:23:00.000-07:00

:P
so... nothin's been going on... just same old same old. and yet... while i was at work today i was thinking about some of the verses i've been reading lately... i really was comforted by them and my spirit was renewed. (i was alone and God really used that time)

the ones that stood out where:
Psalm 23 "yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil"

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither life, nor dearth, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

i was just thinking, i am a child of God, nothing and no one can hurt me. i should fear nothing... nothing except the God who loves and cares for me. that's amazing isn't it? no matter where i go, God will protect me.
i can understand the phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" because if God is the only one you worry about pleasing, then no person should be able to hurt you with any kind of words. i guess that's why they had to persecute Christians... there is no reason for us to back down, no reason to fear. weather we live or die, we are Christ's and if we walk in the spirit we are doing His will (Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.)

~~~

i wouldn't be surprised if most of you knew... but i feel i should say something, and explain myself. i have started wearing more black clothes, but i'm not "turning evil". i feel more comfortable in dark colors.
"goth" is a word most people don't want to hear. i am not going to try to affiliate myself with just one "group" such as goth, however if i am going to wear more black then i need to be aware of the messages i'm sending as well as what other people who wear similar things mean by wearing them.
all that to say, most people think i'm "turning goth". the thing is that i am not changing. i'm not going to do things simply because they are gothic, nor wear clothes simply because they are gothic. from what i've read that actually contradicts the entire gothic mindset.
i'm not going to try to fit into the stereotype of goths either. i am who i am, a Christian girl trying to become more Christ-like and i don't think God wants me doing things just because others do them. He has his own plans for me, and i want to follow Him.
i wouldn't even call myself gothic... except that that seems to be the closest to what i am.

i want to take this time right now to say that i'm not wearing tons of chains, (not wearing any chains really) too much makeup, or even all black. i currently have no desire to dye my hair (something i talked about before) and in fact i just got it cut in a very "cute" way (i thought perhaps it would help make me appear less scary when i do wear black) i'm really going for more of a "flow-y" look, and i achieve that with belts tied at the side that hang down and move with the wind.

i know you're all going to freak out and say that you can't be both a goth and a christian. (i've had mom, beth, emily and hawkie already tell me that)
right now i believe that statement to be untrue... if that ever changes then i'll have to start wearing yellow or something, because Christ comes first.
however... it is mainstream thought... goths are said and thought to be evil, rebellious and scary.
i despise stereotypes. they can be so wrong and so hurtful. they leave people out and cause death. we've all met one bad "christian" before... what if we didn't know better and said that all christians were mean?

the best thing that i can tell you is something i found on a website ( http://www.christiangoth.com/ )

"I believe that the Christian gothic/industrial community has been called for such times as these. Who else is more prepared to deal with dark days and painful times? You are a tribe of poet/warriors called to fight the darkness you know so well. Like Strider and the Northern Rangers in "The Lord of the Rings," you will be used to fight the shadows of fear and terror in the dark forests and murky swamps which lie outside the boundaries of the land of the Hobbits. Those Hobbits may never understand or appreciate the work you are called to do and the sacrifices God calls you to - but we do not fight the good fight for their approval. We do it because we already have His." (~pastor dave hart of sanctuary, http://www.christiangoth.com/trenchcoat.html )

the thing is... that Christ didn't come to save the righteous, He came to save the sinners. in my experience, most church-goers are not comfortable dealing with things like divorce, gays, abortions, and things of that sort. but... the funny thing is that those are the people who need God's love the most. they need the message that they are sinners, but that God can and will forgive them. (of course God chooses who will be saved, we cannot change that and we have no control over that, but we should do everything in our power to reach these people... in the same way that even though the outcomes of events are already decided, we should still pray earnestly for them)
there are plenty of verses that teach us not to "follow the crowd" in order to reach these people. that is not what i'm saying here at all. but the best description of the "gothic mindset" is "live and let live". now, there are some things that are SIN and sin is sin. you can't tolerate sin in your own life and you should tell your friends when you think they are sinning. however, there are other things which are either just tradition or what most people do. you have to be really careful not to get too caught up in things like that... that's where the pharasees messed up. i've heard that there is very little peer pressure amoung goths because of thier accepting nature. i've heard that if you have a conviction and you stick with it they will respect you for that, unlike most other people i've met.

goth itself is hard to define. some say it's likeing a certain type of music. others say it has nothing to do with music, only with the clothes you wear. still others say that it's neither of those things, it's how you view the world, your mindset.
one thing though, there are a lot of christian goths. being a goth does NOT automatically affiliate you with the devil in any way. sure, there are people who worship satan that are goths, but not all goths do. and, besides, there are pleanty of people who aren't goths that worship satan.

goths ususally just want to be loved. (don't we all?) and are perhaps the most alone. i have "odd" interests... i will admit that graveyards are for some reason REALLY cool... but don't we all have odd interests??? goths are stereotyped as being suicidal, loving vampires and things like that... but not everyone is. that would be like saying "all girls like to go shoe shopping" or "all girls like to try on clothes" you can say that would be true for a lot of girls, but i wouldn't say for all of them.

i believe the scariest thing about goths is that they are mysterious. people fear what they do not understand. it is different, but that doesn't necesarily make it wrong.

forget that it's me, forget that it's personal and give me your oppinions. i grew up in a "christian" home, but we didn't go to chruch (a living contradiction that i've never been able to deal with in my head) i wasn't blessed with hearing the Word every sunday morning and i've still got a lot of learning and growing to do (don't we all?).
all that said, this is what i believe right now. i have no doubts whatsoever about any of it. i am open to discussing anything at all and i don't mind being flat out dissagreed with. i think it's better to get this out in the open where we can deal with it and talk about it rather than keeping it hidden. i don't want this to come as a suprise to anyone, and i'd rather you heard this from me than from anyone else, ya know, hear my side of the story before you judge me.
~Vanima
P.S. i started writing this a couple days ago

new laptop

2006-08-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

i just got a laptop!!! *dances* i'm on it right now with bluetooth wireless internet and it's super fast!!!
i would have told you all earlier that i was getting one, but we had some problems ordering it and then... well we've been meaning to get them since christmas cause they're our christmas presents.

i'm currently importing my outlook addresses and old e-mails...
it's sooooo fast... you just have to see it... :)

well, i gotta go do other stuff now... i'll post more later.
~Vani
P.S. now i can't multitask while waiting for explorer windows! it's too fast for that!!!

hehe...

2006-08-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

i like to write poems, but that's about it... i have a few stories started... but i doubt they will ever get finished. mostly with stories i just like to plan out an intricate plot... but then i get bored and don't finish the story.

i'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for organic chemistry!!! i can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!! and calculus!!! that should be great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm not super thrilled about having to take spanish again... forign language in college is so hard.

hm... i've been really busy with other stuff. we're cleaning out like tons of stuff in our house... and so that's keeping us busy. that and my classes and work... lol.
~Vani

she turned from that path long ago...

2006-07-27T22:46:00.000-07:00

hi guys. just wanted to say that i'm super busy... (duh???) but anyways... yeah.

i think i'm doing ok... kinda hard to tell of late. oh well!!!

am i the blade that was broken then? or am i the crownless... too hard to tell.
mysteries, mysteries... all of them mysteries...

sorry for all the confusion... i'm filled to the brim with random thoughts all wanting and waiting and plotting their escape... :P

eh.

heat... waves

2006-07-21T19:04:00.000-07:00

hey peoples...
oh. gotta go.
bye.

or maybe...

2006-07-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

maybe she doesn't have anything to say, to anyone really.
maybe she got eaten by a dragon.
maybe she's been sick with allergies and not sleeping well.
maybe she's ready for summer to be over cause school is way more fun and rewarding than this.
maybe she and emily got into an argurment of some kind
maybe she's been writing fanfiction under a different name and has been busy with that.
maybe she's working lots of hour at work

or, ya know, she could have jumped off the edge of a cliff...

SCREAMS

2006-07-15T16:46:00.000-07:00

Woman

2006-07-09T02:43:00.000-07:00

i'm not the only one who misses school.
it's weird... you get used to no sleep, hours and hours of homework... the whole college lifestyle.
and then they try to throw you off with this little thing called summer.

granted, by the end of the school year we were all feeling it... we needed it to stop, at least for a while.
but now i want it back. i knew i would. i didn't really want it to end.

i'm getting so much sleep. well, i mean hour wise it's not that much... but compairitively it's... like an eternity.
i try to keep busy, and i do... at least you'd all say i was busy. but really i'm not... not compaired to what it was. i miss it.

i can't describe college to you. maybe it would be different if you were taking classes like chior instead of chemistry. yeah, i guess it would have to be...

i can't even begin to tell you how much i miss it, miss all the work and how little sleep i got. it was truely amazing, what we could get by on. all you really needed was 6 hours sleep (give er take, ususally take) and God. i wouldn't... have even come close... not even at all... without God. i did so much growing... so much learning...

that's the thing about college, it's fast. everything is fast. you learn fast, you eat fast, you study fast. the few things that you try to do slow are driving and prayer... but it can be hard to slow down, even for a second.

it's a good feeling to be working so hard and so much that you get to a point where you have to stop cause your body simply collapses... when you have to take your contacts out and switch to glasses cause your eyes simply can't hold your contacts anymore.

i grew so much... God does amazing things.
i feel like a woman now. i really do. i never seemed to know my place before... i was always somewhere in the middle... but now i feel grow up.

you never stop growing, that's the amazing part. but i believe i've gotten to that point where... i don't know how to describe it, but something changes inside of you.

this year i've learned and realized that i am fully and completely a girl. loving math and wanting to become a chemical engineer doesn't change any of that. bottom line is, if God physically made you a girl, and you accept that, they you are as fully girl as all the ones that are ditzy and wear pink. accepting it is important. if you're fighting it or unsure, you're just not going to feel it.

girl to me means pretty and pink. i don't have to tell you that pretty never meant anything to me and pink is the last word i hope you'd use to describe me.

i never felt qualified to be a girl... but silly me, i really didn't have to be. all those ditzy pink girls are going to have a hard time managing a family, being a woman... cause the thing is that being a girl and being a woman are 2 seperate things.

point A to point B. i didn't just "get" there... i want you all to know that. it took this whole year, all of it, to become who i am now. but that's the amazing thing, even before i could see it, God was working in me and leading me where He wanted me to go. now that i'm at this point i can look back and be like "wow!" cause i've come so far... i'm so excited for this next year cause i can't wait to see where God leads me. i do have to wait though, cause the thing about seeing God's plan is that often it's more of a looking back thing. you follow blindly, doing your best to follow the path God has laid out for you, but you can't really see where you're going. it's like a huge blinder in front of you... so if you see something and you think it's where God wants you to go, chances are you're really looking at something to the side, something that Satan planted there cause he knew you'd think it was God's will.

God provided me with great friends at school. That was really important cause even though i have all of you guys, i need strong Christians at my side where the battles are fought, and since we're not in the same school it's hard for you all to be there during my battles.

in almost every class (all except 1 i think) i had someone good to sit next to, share notes with, exc. they might not always have been a Christian, but the majority of them were, and the rest of them were the kind of people that don't swear and don't wear inappropriate clothing (2 of the biggest problems at school).

in addition to providing my with a wonderful history note taker this last quarter, (i got sick a lot and sometimes i skipped to study for chemistry tests) God provided me with 2 awesome friends that were with me all year.

the first was Tiffany. we met in chemistry, in the crowded 140 class. there weren't many seats left when i got there, but obviously God had been saving that one for me. with Lindsey on my left (who would be one of my lab partners that quarter), Tiffany on my right, and a very nice older gentleman on her right, i was in a very good position. the 3 of us girls started a study group, and although lindsey did not continue on with chemistry after that quarter, tiffany and i have studyed together for all except the last 2 or 3 tests. (by that point no one knew what was going on, so you might as well have been studying with your dog)
Tiffany is a strong Christian, and though when you meet her she may seem bubbly and giggly, it was easy for us to have deep, meaningful conversations. she always had a smile on her face, and i will always remember that. she's going to a 4 year college this fall and i'll miss her a ton, but i'll always treasure the time we had and thank God for how much she helped me grow.

at least a couple of you have heard about john. i'm like 99.984% sure (but i mean, i'm me, so...) that he's an ENTP (the extroverted version of me). he was my other lab partner first quarter, that's how we became friends. we always had soooo much fun during the lab... especally first quarter when we didn't have to worry so much about messing up the lab (cause we could actually understand what was going on) mmm... poor lindsey... let me just say that john and i + the lab sort of had the same effect as anna and i have when we're together. (less hyperness, more... NTPishness???) anyways, we drove lindsey up the wall.
lol, that's right... first quarter... when john had to do EVERYTHING himself. like i mean even if he let us do something he had to check it... i'm glad we got over that! it was more than slightly irritating...
(mmm... i'm having lab memories come flooding back to me...)
anyways, we got along rather well. i'd say about half the class didn't continue chemistr 2nd quarter, so there was more room to more around. we ended up sitting next to each other, and kept the same spots (as most of the class did) for 3rd quarter as well. 2nd quarter we signed up for different lab times so weren't lab partners. (tiffany and i were though, and it was a blast... lol, we had so much fun trying to figure out what was going on and what we were supposed to be learning...)
at first i was sad because i missed all the fun we had in lab (tiffany and i had to concentraite a LOT more...) and... well, extroverted rationalists are just fun to be around.
2nd quarter was nice cause we had the same off hour and got to talk a bit more. it was then that we became friends, not just people who liked to goof off together in lab.

of all the people at school he's probably the one that helped me grow the most. i don't know why, but he always believed in me. 3rd quarter we got the same lab time (the only lab time i might add, as the class had shrunk to about 14 or so) but our scheduals kinda collided, so i didn't see him much other than in class. that was kinda sad... i was still very unsure of myself at that point.
one thing i love about john is that i feel like i can totally be myself around him. i'm not going to freak him out or say the wrong thing. we've just got an understanding of each other and that makes it really nice. he helped me through sooo many problems, especally early 2rd quarter, but we were always able to be friends cause he always respected me even though i still had quite a bit to learn about myself. (emily and i also had some miscomunications around that time (is that the best way to put it???) and he helped me through that)

time went on and i gradually kept growing. i cried soooo many times... especally january... i remember january and february being really hard months for me. lol, part of that was getting sick... there was this one thing going around at school. if you got it (and many of us did) then you were SICK for a week. (and i don't mean "oh ouch, my head hurts" sick, i mean like DEAD sick) missing a week of chemistry... i don't even think i missed a week... i think it was only like 4 days (cause with chemistry you GO... dead or not) but i was so lost... and the thing with college is that it's fast, there's no time to catch up, you STAY on track or you fail.
but with God all things are possible. all things. even getting by on less than 5 hours sleep.
lol, there were times when i'd gotten less 18 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. thankfully it wasn't often, cause ican ususally go 2 days in a row with 6ish hours of sleep, but then after that i gotta get some sleep.
i remember taking alot of naps. mom and dad didn't like that... they thought i was sleeping too much. ha. well, mostly they didn't know how late i was up... but i wasn't exactly surfing the internet... (spanish homework is so nice at 10PM... X-)

but i've been growing. it's so neat to see how everything is fitting together. i just have to be careful to make sure i'm not trying to lead. that's God's job and He's got it under control.
~Vani
P.S. longest post ever???

the skittles have been...

2006-07-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

moved to a new location... sorry legolas. thanks for finally letting me out though.

i've been kinda lonely this week... miss talking with all my friends. mmm... oh well.

i'm in no mood to post... :) i wanted to post several times... but i got here and had nothing to say. theone time i had something to say i had to leave for work...

i get in this mood and it's like... i just want to be alone... but then i get lonely.
don't ask, even i don't understand it.

um... talk to you guys soon?
~Vani

hum

2006-06-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

hi all. ok, well, hi almost none of all... w/e.
*is tired* work was... really... long. 8 hours is a long shift. i've done that 3 days in a row now...
my feet hurt cause i'm not used to it. and i've had to take allergie medicine so i've been really sleepy all day.

my computer is doing something... not quite sure what... maybe i'll figure that out soon? (i'm hoping that something or other is just checking for updates...)

did i mention that i was tired??? i'm going to bed.
~Vani

ordinary day

2006-06-24T18:01:00.000-07:00

i heard this song on the radio and... i don't know, it meant a lot to me. the song itself is cool to, i like it a lot.

Just a day, just an ordinary day

Just trying to get by

Just a boy, just an ordinary boy, but

He was looking to the sky

And as he asked if I would come along I started to realise

That every day he finds just what he's looking for

And like a shooting star he shines and he said

Take my hand, live while you can

Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand

And as he spoke he spoke ordinary words, oh

Though they did not feel, no

For I felt what I had not felt before, and you'd swear those words could heal

And as I looked up into those eyes his vision borrows mine

And I know he's no stranger for I feel I've held him for all of time

And he said

Take my hand

Live while you can, oh

Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand, oh

In the palm of your hand

Please come with me

See what I see

Touch the stars for time will not flea

Time will not flea

Can't you see

Just a dream, just an ordinary dream

As I wake in bed

And that boy, that ordinary boy, oh

Was it all in my head?

Didn't he ask if I would come along, it all seemed so real

But as I looked to the door I saw that boy standing there with a deal

And he said

Take my hand

Live while you can, oh

Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand, oh

In the palm of your hand, oh

In the palm of your hand

Just a day, just an ordinary day

Just trying to get by

Just a boy, just an ordinary boy, but

He was looking to the sky

so yeah... today,
just another day...
unless.
unless i make it more, make it what i want it to be.
what i need it to be.

waiting

2006-06-22T20:38:00.000-07:00

waiting waiting waiting...
hm, what happend to that song i wrote? i know i wrote it down somewhere... i should find it, it was promising.

my final gpa this year is 3.73. i'm very pleased. so are mom and dad. and i'm higher than john, so life is good. :P he said he was going to catch up. he might, but not without a fight.

*sings softly* i move in silence, with each step taken. snow falling round me, like angels in flight...

sometimes it's sad to be last on the list... last one to get a smile, first one to be forgotten...
it's not all like that, but i hate it when you have a really good friend... and sinse you are really good friends... it's like they know that it's ok to... leave you... cause you'll forgive them.
and maybe it's not their fault...

ok... well i'm really depressed i guess so... i'm going to be done for now and maybe i'll post a happy post later.

dad

2006-06-19T18:30:00.000-07:00

this year at shool... well... i just want to thank you dad, for being someone i can look up to and respect. i know a lot of people who can't do that... who can't look at their dad and say "one day, i'm going to be just like him" or "one day i'm going to marry someone just like him"... i mean, we all have things that we'd change about our parenting, but i mean in general.
no, you're not perfect, but you are a good dad.

eep...

2006-06-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

kick up the leaves and the magic is lost...

and the reason is you... and the reason is you...

cause i don't need boxes wrapped with strings
and desire and love and empty things
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days...

take me home, to the meadow, that cradles my heart
where the waves reach as far, as you can see...

just a moment in time i could feel, i was free...

let the rain fall down...

and i'd give up forever to touch you
cause i know that you feel me somehow...

and i don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am...

and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
or the moment of truth in your lies
when everything feels like the movies
and you bleed just to know you're alive...

4...3...2...1...
earth below us
drifting falling
floating weightless
calling calling home...

what you don't have you don't need it now
what you don't know you can feel it somehow
what you don't have you don't need it now
don't need it now
don't need it now
was a beautiful day...

cause you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
you work at a smile and you go for a ride...

SCHOOL IS DONE!!! (till next week...)

2006-06-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

forever since i posted... ah well, such are finals and final's week.

by the way ('case you didn't hear the latest) i'm going to take one summer class online... it shouldn't be too hard cause it's CIS 121... computer systems/programming... and i figure i shouldn't have much trouble with it.

i am like SO hyper... i like am done with school!!! but it's so funny, cause i'm sad to. i miss all my friends SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much... my school friends that is. *sigh* it's different when you see people every day for all year... like in my chem class. i mean, leaving everyone else wasn't so bad cause you're only together for a quarter... but leaving chem class... oh that was soooo hard...

i got a 3.7 in chem... i'm so thrilled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i don't know my history score yet... i'll know next monday!
i did really good this quater. the chemistry was sooo hard... but i made it!!! i got like 44/50 on almost all the tests (cept the last one... i only got 40/50! but it was a hard chapter, none of us understood anything... hehe...) i'm going to miss Dr. Mir SOOOOOO much... she's so sweet and nice. she was so patient with us all year to... she was just great. amazing... best teacher i've ever had ('cept mom and dad!)

i like got hyper yesterday around 1 in the afternoon and i've been hyper since!!!!!!!!!! oh man... i'm like SOOOO hyper... *bounces off walls* *dances to music* maybe i'll be hyper for a month straight again... do you guys remember that??? i was totally begining to freak myself out, being hyper for that long... but it like totally comes and stays with me. like i can't explain it, but once i'm hyper it's like I AM HYPER SO WATCH OUT!!!

oh and like i can't wait to get to know you better verya!!! (oh wow i already remembered your name... that's like... wow...) ok!!! oh and like i REALLY hope i wasn't rude in the e-mail cause i'm kinda... like school is still got my brain messed up!!!

ok ok ok!!! um!!! see you all later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Vani!!!!!

7 minutes, in counting

2006-06-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

kay, i've got 7 minutes. then it will be 9 and i have to call john to see what i missed today and so i can find out what happend to our 5 page double spaced super huge complicated chemistry reasearch paper on thermoplastics cause it's due tomorrow and i was really sick today and just went to school long enough to finish my take home chem test and turn it in.

*gasps* whew... ok... eek! 5 minutes! ok... get ready for my life in a nutshell.

john already created "confuzzled"... it's his word... no taking credit for it.
i'm really sick.
it is raining.
finally got my computer mostly fixed. (almost kinda sorta...)
no more chem labs. we were supposed to have one tomorrow but then dr. mir had to cancel it cause we need more time for her to lecture us and so i'm really really really sad (understatement of the year) and cause i love lab and i'm going to miss my chem class so much and i'll probably die without them.

2 minutes! ah! ok what am i forgetting? OH. the stupid chem test. i wanted to MURDER that test... half of it was in class, the other half was take home. let me just say... it was one of those tests where you get some of the take home part wrong cause... it's so hard and complicated. chemistry got SO hard this last month... i have been struggling so much and i'm still sinking pretty bad... we'll see what i got on the test tomorrow probably.

ok... sorry to leave but i have to go call john cause i might have to do some of the reaseach paper tonight and not to mention appologize for getting sick even though it's his fault cause he had the same really bad migrain sick thing like over the weekend and he wasn't there tuesday (cause we had monday off and i came up with this really great thing to say to him but then he was too sick... i was going to ask "were you under the impression it was a 4 day weekend?" but then i couldn't cause he was like about to die...)
*glances at her poast* um... if any of you can understand that them skittles to you!!! *runs off* bye!

sigh

2006-05-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

monday my computer tried to commit suicide. isn't that nice? well, ok maybe not...
i'm not really sure what happend. well... i mean i defragmented it like the day before... and i was deleting some files that i didn't need anymore... but...
i lost some of the system32 files. basically... like you DON'T touch those, ever... like... ever ever. i wouldn't have deleted them, i know better. and the defrag shouldn't have done anything... but i mean it *is* moving data all around so it could have happend.

anyways. i just hope that that's all the bad stuff that's going to happen for awhile.

it was so hard to stay awake in history today. i totally couldn't keep my mind on things... so i kept doodling so i wouldn't fall asleep. i haven't done that in a while... i find it can be hard to read my notes when i doddle all over the paper. (duh)

guess i should go try to study the thing we're doing for our huge chem report thing... we're doing like thermoplastics and recycling and... other comfuzing stuff.
i'm so bored.

oops...

2006-05-20T23:41:00.000-07:00

*is shaking*
i just... got a speeding ticket. my first ticket ever. ever. in my life. oops.
*sigh* i totally deserved it... but there was NO ONE on the road at it's like 11:30 at night anyways... *sigh* i was going... um... 52 in a 35 zone... *hehe*
he didn't even turn his sirens on, i saw his blue lights flashing behind me... way behind me... and i knew instantly that i was going to get a speeding ticket. cause i always go a little fast at 11:30 when there is no one on the road. it seems safe enough to me. although it is breaking the law i suppose. man... now i guess my insurance will go up? a lot? *sigh* just what i needed. i can't believe it... i really can't... i mean... *sigh* sure, i drive fast... what teen doesn't? but...
i'm kinda shaken up... i mean i handled it fine, i was pretty cool considering. but now that it's over it seems like it... i don't know. it seems like just another ordinary day. i don't even feel that fazed... hm.
urgh... i usually don't go quite that fast... i was just so tired tonight... we had an aweful day at work and i just wanted to get home. i was so upset... it was such a hard day... and then i get a ticket. cause... i was so tired, usually i pay more attention to my speed... i never go more than like 45... *sigh* it was just one of those evenings where you don't stop at work ever and you are trying so hard to just keep up... it took us 45 minutes after closing the store to finish close. 45 minutes... and we'd been running around the entire evening. great. i got a speeding ticket. i almost want to cry cause it's like i've done something bad and i feel bad about it. now i have to tell mom... "oh, mom, guess what? i was going 52 in a 35 zone and i got pulled over and i got a ticket! isn't that great!!!"........... yeah, i'm totally seeing that one.

i want to cry so much... it's just been a hard day. i'm not complaining... just sort of aggitated. kinda just... one more thing on top of everything else.

but i had a good day. a really nice day. well, ok, maybe it wasn't nice... but i had a good attitude about it.

it was so weird when i was getting pulled over... i just saw the lights and knew instantly. no siren or anything... *sigh* i should have waited for the siren so i could have heard it... no, that would have shaken me up more. then he was telling me to do stuff and it was like... i didn't think, i just did it. i'm SO glad i could find the proof of insureance. i was like... lol... i guess i acted like i'd been pulled over a million times... i mean i'm sure that's what the guy thought... cept that i don't have a record.

wow. i have a record now. i've done something bad.
......... i just... can't quite...

me. me... myself... i got a ticket... guess i'm grown up now, huh?
~Vani

contemplates

2006-05-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

well, i read legolas's blog and now i want to make my own list.

this summer i want to:
earn money so i can save it.
read the series of books that john is reading.
get the organic chem book early so i can look through it.
read through my current chem book again.
learn how to goof off and have fun without accomplishing anything.
change my look a little bit. (maybe a lot)
work on my web site.
finish writing one of the songs i've been working on.
learn some music theory.
learn programming.
actually SEE some of the friends i claim to have.
find a way to feel loved even when i'm alone.
continue trying to convince mom that it's normal to go to bed at 1am and sleep in till 10.
to learn more about my fears so that i will not be afraid of them anymore.
gain more confidence in myself and my abilities.
spend so much time at em's house that people forget where i actually live.
get a job where i get paid more than minimum wage.
acquire a laptop.
record my friends and me playing greenwaves.
see some of the major movies i've missed. (erm... Narnia, the Incredibles... the list goes on...)

it amazes me how many things i find that i am doing "wrong"... or at least not in the best way they could be done. my inefficiency is just absolutely appalling.
but i'm learning... and trying hard every day. i guess most of my friends are just trying to get school over with... i know i will be terribly sad when it ends. i like school. *laughs* yeah, i like school... even at the end of the school year. i've got to be crazy... or insane... or both. i just like learning... and it's like when you're in school then people can't bug you about learning. i mean, in the summer or on the weekend everyone is always like "come play!" and you just never get any learning done... i guess that i just want to know how everything works.

*sings loudly* can u take my higher??? to a place where blind men see?
can u take me higher??? to the place with golden streets?

*sigh* nope, nope nope... *looks around* still alone... that's so sad.

GO HYPERNESS!

2006-05-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

hehe... i've been hyper for like... 2 days now? yeah... 2 days!!! i'm so glad... cause hyper is better than upset/depressed.
chem test is over... lalala... that's so nice... i think i did good. OH I CAN GO FIND OUT NOW... maybe i'll wait till closer to Dr. Mir's office hours... :P i ususally just go bug her whenever i need something... but i guess it would be nicer to her if i waited... i hope she doesn't mind me bugging her whenever...
she's so nice. i love my chem teacher. i have to take organic chemistry at the other campus cause they don't offer it here. i asked Dr. Mir why and she said cause we would need a bigger lab and cause there's not enough interest... which i can understand... there are less than 12 of us in chemistry now and organic chemistry is supposed to be REALLY hard... like... and chemistry itself it hard enough, but this is supposed to be the killer.

i don't see john anywhere and seeing as i'm in the library i guess he took Dr. Mir a little too seriuosly when she said "this is the last extra credit so you can skip class now"... *sigh* oh well, i'm not going to let that ruin my hypernes... although i do plan to give him a lecture later. :P

i feel so alive today. like everything is going fine and i'm doing great. maybe we can go shopping today em??? now that i've just had tests for both my college classes all i have left is high school physics and i don't have too much, just 2 labs and the review and the test due friday... :D really it's not that much, it's all... super easy cause of all the chem i've had. oh man, and the labs seem so... well, i guess just cause i've had a year now of college chem labs... the at home with household items labs seems kinda... shallow. :P

i have like 2 hours to kill till chem... maybe i'll be tutoring melissa second hour though. i wonder where jordan is... tiffany is in biology lab... hm... i think there are classes going in the rooms with pianos... guess i could study chemistry. i certainly need it! this chapter is mostly making sense... it's just a little tricky. hm, is this the electro chemistry chapter? yeah, must be cause we had acid/base reactions with equilibrium, them solutions and equilibruim and now electro chemistry. i really like equilibruim... but i don't like the common ion effect... well, that's not so bad... not nearly as bad as complex ions... :P there is so much going on!

giggle, and then in history we're studying the great depression which is funny cause i'm so hyper!!! i got 96% on my history test cause i missed one of the multiple choice questions. maybe i will go see what my chem grade is... :P

it. is. HOT.

2006-05-16T20:49:00.000-07:00

*is too hot* i'm like seriously moving to the north pole for the spring/summer. anybody want to come?

*sigh* i started to get a headache like half an hour ago but i got a cold wash cloth and just tried to relax for awhile... so i'm feeling mostly better now. kinda on the tired side... but it's hard not to be with all the heat. (did i mention that i don't like the heat???)

i have a chem test tomorrow. i was really worried about it... but i think it'll be ok. i can do the problems in the lecture notes, it's just the homework problems that i have trouble with. thankfully most of the stuff should be similar to the lecture notes... oh... except that one problem... hm... ok, well i'll worry about that later.

i really need to work on not freaking out... it's really starting to irritate me and i'm sure it's irritating my friends.

i had a history test today. i think i did well. i had to guess on a couple of the questions... didn't remember him going over them, but oh well.

the next chem test (after this one) should be better... cause like i didn't understand much of this chapter... lol... well i guess i'm starting to get lost in this chapter to, but... i just hope i can hold my own.
i did well on the first 2 tests... so if i don't do awesome it'll be ok. i can settle with 40/50.

sorry that i haven't been around much you guys. i've been really busy with school and work. i'm going to try to get a new job. i don't have to, i didn't get fired or anything, i just want a change. i guess i just get bored easily.

well and i have been scooping ice cream for an entire year now. i think it is offically a year now. i was updating my resume and i had to find out when i got that job...

where i've been all this time...

2006-05-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

hi everyone. i've been so busy of late...
last week my life... well, imagine that all the pieces of in my life are puzzle pieces in a frying pan. ok, well, imagine that they got flipped in the air REALLY hard and REALLY far and all the pieces were just sorta floating around...

um... if you can follow that i give you an A+... basically everything was just kinda a mess and now everything has stopped floating and spinning around. things are slightly different, the pieces have reorganized themselves and some are even flipped over... but at least it's all back in the pan now.

i don't really like that description, but that's the only thing i could think, even while it was going on. basically i had like 4-5 days of just... not really knowing how anything would turn out. i knew it would be ok, it was just really hard to get through. i knew God would make it all turn out ok, i just had to deal with what was going to happen.
i can't even tell you all the things that were going on... but it's all over now i think, so it's ok.

dullish

2006-05-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

man... life is either too busy... or boring. yesterday it was too much, today... well... i should be studying for the SAT... but i'm not. i'll do that later.
yesterday we had a chemistry test. it was the hardest test i've ever taken, finals included. yeah... it took almost everyone the full hour and a half... which is kind of a long time, no? anyways, i spent yesterday morning studying... i even skipped history to study... so that was like 3 hours... and then there was all the studying i did over the weekend and on monday and tuesday... but it's over now. i couldn't figure out #5. i tried like 4 different ways... i couldn't get any of the multiple choice answers!!! so yeah, i guessed. what else do you do? i guess i could go now to see how i did... maybe i'll just wait...

i'm on john's lab top. he let me borrow it to finish the lab. i did that last hour. well, ok, so i didn't finish it... but it's mostly done. i did the hard part... and i FINALLY figured out how to do the excell graph... that took like... probably an hour all together... cause i tried on my own last saturday... then i tried again monday with john and tiffany... (we totally messed it up that time... i almost had it on saturday... but then my computer ate it) but it's done now. the lab isn't due till friday this time. usually it's due the tuesday after lab (lab on fridays) and i'm glad since i had so much trouble with excell! (maybe that only has one l... hm...)

um... wow, i guess i have chemistry after this... i'm not used to being on the computer during my free hours. i usually study... i hope chemistry goes well, i've been having pretty bad allergies lately.
oh, i'll put the link to my website up...
~Vani

my finger is bleeding

2006-04-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

so if like you can't read this or i spell sometihng wrong it's cause i have this huge band-aid on my finger and it's weird to type!
anyways, school is going fine today. i'm thikning about dropping spanish but that's not news...
did i ever post my score here? i got 62% on the spanish test... *cough* you know... that is the first ever D that i've gotten anywhere. it hit me so hard... i mean i nknew it would be bad but then seeing it on paper.. was like different.

um... i'm done... that's it... not much e3lse to report.

little turtle voice DUUUDE!!!

2006-04-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

WARNING: THIS POST IS RATED SUPER WEIRD (SW). NOT SUTIBULE FOR SANE OR SEMI-SANE PERSONS UNDER THE AGE OF 72.43 EONS. THANK YOU.

hola mis amigas!!! como estan?

i'm hyper. a lot hyper. really busy at work today. maybe i'm just stuck in overdrive. um. yeah, i got like 3 blisters on my fingers... from work... from TODAY at work... i'll let my blisters speak for themselves.

*waits around for blisters to speak* kk, well, they've had all of 3.4 seconds to say something... they are so shy... *pokes one of them* oh, there we go... it says (and I quote) "ouch!"

ok. i like. have fudge. on my. jeans. like. really. fudge on jeans. my jeans. my flair jeans. the jeans. that i wear. my jeans.

*sings fudge on jeans song to clocks* *decided to just sing clocks instead* *sings clocks*

blister 1: oh, hi, um, i'm...

me: oh, so now you decide to speak?

*blister 1 gets red faced*

*blister 2 consoles blister 1*

blister 3: (quietly, in a whisper) hey! why did you have to go and do that? we're shy, but that doesn't mean we don't have feelings.

me: oh. uh, i'm sorry. i just... i'm hyper... i appologize. please continue?

blister 1: (slowly nods) ok, um, i am, um, well, that is...

blister 2 (who suddenly resembles a pirate) (singing): OHHH!!!!!!!

all 3 blisters: WE ARE THE PIRATES, WHO DON'T DO ANYTHING...
WE JUST STAY HERE, AND SCREAM OUW.
AND IF YOU POKE US, OR DO ANYTHING!!!
WE'LL JUST TELL YOU...
"HEY DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!"

me: ...

3 blisters: CAUSE!!! we are the pirates, who don't do anything... we just stay here and scream ouw... and if you poke us, or do ANYTHING!!! we'll just tell you... "hey don't do anything!!!"

me: i must be hillusinating...

blister 1: well... i've... never...

me: um, hold on a sec...

blister 2: uh, why???

me: well don't you think this post will be long enough without 3 seperate verses about all the things you don't want me to do to you???

blister 3: but that's not the point. blisters have rights to you know.

me: i wasn't implying that you don't have rights.

blister 3: good, cause we have a union.

me: uh... that's good. i just meant that... you could just say "don't do anything" and that covers everything... you know? like... you don't have to list it out.

blister 2 (cocks eyebrow in a most humerous way): aha. i believe she may have a point here fellows.

blister 1: ok ok, but... can we still do the ending??? it's just so...

blister 2: funny!!!

blister 3: yeah, we just gotta do the ending...

me: uh... what's so funny 'bout the ending guys???

blister 2: oh you'll see!
(TO BE CONTINUED...)

this is life...

2006-04-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

yeah. spanish test... went really bad. like. really bad. i haven't gotten the grade yet. i'm waiting for that.

i'm quitting chior. well. i mean i've already quit. but yeah. it was just too much and i don't have time to practise at home. the chior teacher was really upset... cause john decided to quit to. we need the time for our huge chemistry project cause the 3 of us are all free that hour... and it's like one of the only times. but yeah. life is just kinda... going on right now. things aren't that bad (if you forget about spanish) but then... things are... well, there is spanish... so that's the bad part.

hm. maybe more sleep would help! oh gosh, the chem test is tomorrow... i've been studying... i should be ready... it's just... wow... *runs away* it should be ok. i hope. it'll be ok... right???

i missed you so much legolas i meant (and tried) to post on your blog but i didn't get on much and then one time i did and it ate my post... so yeah... i'm sooooo glad you're back! *hugs*

sinking fast

2006-04-06T22:01:00.000-07:00

uh, guys... i could seriously use some prayer. i'm like... not... getting the spanish... like at all.
we're doing numbers 100+ and well... i guess i never really learned it well in english. i think i get lost somewhere on how you do the multiple "thousand" words.
honestly i think my brain just works differently. i just see it... differently. mom tried to explain it to me when i was little and i never got it. she never understood what i saw. honest i don't need to know it before and i've always just gotten away without knowing it.
well till now. ugh i just... don't get it.
leave it to me to get lost in numbers... you know we don't even use word numbers... that is we don't write them. and honestly, when someone asks you to read a number longer than 8 numbers long don't you just say each number like "seven, four, two, three, six" anyways???

correction...

2006-04-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

where do people get the idea that i hate school??? school is the best thing that ever happend to me! (well, definately totally completely after EVERYTHING that God has done for me (but then again, God did that to!)) but really, i LOVE school. it is my favorite place to be. i leave early so i can play piano and i stay late cause i just like being there.

here is how my school days go: first is playing piano... i usually get to play for 10 minutes. then history... which is boring beyond belief. our teacher is doing a review and this stuff won't be on the test so we don't have to take note. (we will tomorrow though... maybe that will keep me awake?) it's so hard to stay awake in his class... he just drones on and on... anyways, then there is spanish. i loved spanish last quarter... but this quarter i have a new teacher and it is SO much harder... not to mention that she says things differently. like instead of sayins "see-en" she says "thee- en" and it's totally throwing us off. especally shane... lol... anyways... as if spanish were not hard enough all of that is going on and she can't explain things to save her life. i always end up more confused than when she started! it's so hard to remember it all... i'm realy going to have to work hard if i want to get a decent grade. oh well! then i have a free hour and none of my friends have it off so i'm all alone... but that's ok i study spanish during that time. the first few days were kinda lonely, just cause i'm used to Tiffany or John being there to talk to... but it is better now. then there is chemistry and i love that class. it was so funny, on the first day we were SO loud... cause like in the other classes you don't know anyone but in chem we all know each other and we were alllllllll talking really loud... it was really funny. then there is chior! i decided to unofically join chior because i hae to miss friday because of chem lab so trying to get credits would be impossible... but there are a few other people taking it "just for fun" so yeah. then i go home and do homework. but i love school, it's the best part of my day. (which is good cause it's also the majority of my day!) i leave the house around 7:15 and get back around 1:30!

yeah... then i come home and ususally collapse in bed for at least 2-4 hours. (i try to keep it under 3 but sometimes... hehe... *cough*) (but hey, at least i sleep at night! *coughjohncough*) um yeah, then there is homework and... well i spent 5 hours the first day just on spanish... then like just 4 the last few days... (did i mention that spanish is going to be really hard this quarter???) um yeah, then it's usually WAY past bed time... so then i sleep (when i can fall asleep! maybe i'm napping too long? oh well, i didn't get any nap today, let's just hope i make it through my homework...) then i get up... and it repeates!!!
*sigh* i love school so much. i can't even describe how much i love it. it's sorta like how ben can't describe how much he would love not to go to prison. it's prison big, but in a good way!
i love school so much... so please forgive me for hating break! i'm not one of those "grass is ALWAYS greener" i can be happy... sure, it's backwards for most people... but at least i get to be happy more often than not, no?

~and now for the spanish part of my entry. if you do not speak/read/know/like spanish then you can quit reading now! (that's you legolas!)~
hoy estudiamos los numeros en la clase de espanol. no me gusta estudiar los numeros. necesito hablar espanol con mis amigos todos los dios. hace mucho sol. hoy trabajo a baskin robbins. necesito completar mis tareas y duermir!
~Vanima

eh...

2006-03-29T22:33:00.000-08:00

i need a new post... and i'd better do it now before school starts again and i disapear off the face of this planet again.
i'm in a very sad mood. what i wouldn't give for a friend right now! (that's your cue, whoever you are... i just know any minute now someone is going to show up...)
oh well. i tried, didn't i? oh yeah, i got my grades. my over all gpa is now 3.69 so i'm pretty happy with that. i totally bombed math... but did amazing in spanish and good in chem.
better days, that's a cool song.
well, i'm going to go... be by myself... i'll probably work out and then... go to bed i suppose.

i'm not really... all that sad or anything guys so don't panic. it's just been lonely without you!
my break is almost over now. i don't have like... "spare" time anymore cause the rest of my days are pretty full. maybe that's a good thing.
good things about this break? (cause like... there has to be a positive, right?) how about... it's over! wait... um... ok, i got my hair cut. that was good. um. i did a bunch of chores that i ususally don't do. i worked out a couple of days. and i got to stay up late... i loved that. i seriously wish i could be sleep during the day and stay up all night. i already kinda do that... or at least i did during break... but mom is already freaked out. guess it makes sense... but i just like the darkness and the quiet...
wull... i'm going to go now. so i guess i'll see ya later.
~Van

confusion?

2006-03-22T14:04:00.000-08:00

i know this is going to sound weird, but i miss school. it's only been a day...
i guess it's just cause i don't like being at home so much. there is so much stress here. usually yelling and always argueing. it's like everyone is so self-centered that no one can spare even 5 minutes to do something for someone else.

i'm so... affected by everyone else's emotions. it's almost like i haven't got my own and i just latch onto whatever emotion is present in other people.
real anger makes me sad... i mean, i love the little play argruments, but when there is real anger... i just get so upset and depressed.
and stress... i can't handle it when other people are stressed. my mom is always stressed... i'm trying to help her, i've already mopped and swept several rooms and i did the cat litter... but right now i just want to get out. i've been gone all day as it is, i went to school to get books, check my grades and stuff... (don't know all of my grades yet, just the chem grade... 3.6) then i went shopping (i needed a new binder for next quarter and a new notebook) and cashed my checks. i'll be busy the rest of the day... but honestly all i want to do is go play the piano at school.

i like school. it's very calming. i don't even mind all the work... and you get used to not enough sleep. i guess... i just like it. it's a struggle, and it's hard... but i mean i hardly miss anything anymore.
well... i've got to go... pip needs a ride and pig needs to go to the store.
~missing school

breathes

2006-03-21T16:32:00.000-08:00

i love the feeling you get when you finally get enough sleep. it feels like i'm waking up for the first time ever! i am so happy! not happy exactly, but a "me" version of happy. (i don't think i could ever be "happy" and be happy about it... hehe...) but yeah, i'm hyper and as close to happy as i get!!!

well, since you're probably all wondering... math went pretty bad. i couldn't answer 3 of the questions... but the test was worth 200 and they were only 5 each. but yeah, this final is like 50% of our grade. wouldn't really matter, i haven't been doing well in the class all quarter.

yes legolas, i know exactly what you mean... teacher like to start with your total points and then just subtract! it's like "well if i did an extra good job somewhere, couldn't you start adding points back???" i mean, they totally focus on what you did bad!!! i mean, when i stop to think about all the chemistry i've learned this year it just blows me away. and how much of it i still remember! it's insane!!! absolutely insane... for some reason i remember the chemistry better than the math. maybe it's because i have to work harder at it... but... somehow it just seems more rememberable. i mean, chemistry you can actually use in real life. and you can think about it all the time in real life. just take any basic, every day thing and behind it you're very likely to find some chemistry. now that's cool. math isn't like that very often. sure, we use math a lot, but i can use chemistry all the time!!!

this has been a good quarter. i want to thank all of my very wonderful friends, i would not have made it without each and every one of you.
legolas~ thanks for all the e-mails and phone calls. you have no idea how amazing it was to be able to forget completely about school and homework, even if only for a few minutes.
em~ hey, what can i say? if anyone is keeping an eye on me it's you. we may not talk much, but i know you're there and that helps a lot. thanks for putting so much effort into understanding me and making me believe in friendship.
all my other friends~ hey, even if we didn't talk much i know you guys are real friends and so i knew you were still there... and that has helped a lot. there aren't many people at school that i want to spend much time with or even talk with, so sometimes that can get discouraging. but at the end of the day to know that you've got friends is really important, at least for me. that's the time i'm most tired (and let's face it, i got pretty tired) and when i get tired my brain doesn't work right... that's when i get the most depressed. but having people to talk to helps, so thanks.
tiffany~ hey, you were an awesome lab partner. man did we have fun... it was really nice to know you and we talked a few times about the important stuff. you've been a great friend and we'll have to be lab partners again next quarter! your smile meant so much to me. you always had a positive attitude and never gave up (even when it took us 2 hours to find a working chem paper topic) i can definatly see Christ's light shining through you and that was a real blessing at school.
rachel~ well, who better to sit in the back wtih me and make sarcastic comments? ah yes, and totally random... it was great. she was the one who would randomly start singing songs that didn't make sense. you always had a smile... which is no easy thing at math class so early in the morning. and i truely loved guessing what kind of outfit you'd be wearing that day... :) see em, other people DO love to shop at value villiage...
and to all my friends from la clase de espanol~ that was a great class. so many good memories... no fear, no timidness, no freaking out if you didn't have a clue what the teacher just said and she's looking right at you waiting for an answer. i suppose it's the nature of a foriegn language class to sort of bond as a whole. after all, we did a lot of talking in spanish (and in english to figure out what was just said in spanish) anyways, you guys made the class great. i'm sure a lot of it was our teacher (go Chanda!!!) but everyone else contributed to... i guess to sum it all up: me gusta la clase de espanol!!!
hawkie~ well girl, you don't get to enjoy many of the good days, but you were there for my bad ones. i owe you so much... but then, it's a mutual friendship, and i hope that i'm there for your bad days to. you've been great through every up and down i've faced this quarter, so i whole heartedly thank you.
shane~ kinda funny how we really met. i mean sure we were in spanish together, but... i think it really happend when you came in to find my playing the memory of trees on the piano. i'm looking forward to getting together to play some celtic music with you! sorry i got sick and had to bail the first time... but well, you can't really control stuff like that. it was great that we conected right away. sometimes music can do that for you. your awesome "i know you're a very cool person!" smile really helped brighten my day... it's easy to forget that you can do cool stuff when most of your tallents are hidden. so thanks for finding mine and reminding me of it when ever you saw me.
john~ you're one of a kind (in a good way!) i mean, how many people want to talk about chemistry outside of class??? (when you get down to it, how many people even want to think if they don't have to???)
ok... gotta run... if i forgot someone it's just cause i ran out of time! i'll probably finish this later...
~Vani

now just math... runs away

2006-03-20T17:17:00.000-08:00

chem final is over. i think i did very well. might have got them all right... but we'll have to see. you know how sometimes you know you got some wrong? well i ususally feel like that with chem, but this time i didn't. i really needed 100% so maybe i got it...

now math. *runs away* i'm missing like 6 assignments... and then there's like 3 more to do after that... hm... i think this is going to be interesting. we have to turn in all the homework tomorrow. yeah, like, all the homework for the quarter... i can probably get away with not having everything in there. he's not like going to spend much time on each of ours... he can't, there's too many of us. well... anyways, i've got to go do math... and then study... fun fun fun...
~didn't like math this quarter

1 down, 2 to go!

2006-03-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

Spanish is over!!! *rejoyces* well... till next quarter... which is in just a week or so... eep...

i uh, don't think i did so well on that test... hehe... *coughs* yeah... but i did my best and that's all i could do.

i'm feeling very confident about the chemistry... i just have to spend 5-6 hours memorizing stuff and then i should be good to go.
the math should be ok to... at least it's not a foriegn language (although... that just depends on who you talk to...) ahm... ok...

i'm like feeling really sick... my stomach is like... hurting! a lot! eep... ok... maybe i'll feel better before work... maybe not.

confusion that never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks...
and so they liked their hands and danced round in circles and in rows...
we are soldiers, stand or die...
take me hooooome to the meeeeadow that cradles my heart... where there are no such things as finals...
don't say, adios say, adios... goodbye...
but you begin to get the feeling that this no one was a someone after all, after all, after all...
and the rain came down and it washed away, all the tears, the hurt, and all the pain...
home, home, where i wanted to go...
let me sail, let me sail, let the orinoco flow...
lights go out and i can't be saved...
singing, come out of things unsaid...
you are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
everywhere i turn to begins a new begining, but never finds a finish...
i wonder if the stars sign the life that is to be mine and would they let their light shine enough for me to follow...
if every man says all he can, if every man is true...
home, home, where i wanted to go...

replace that with spanish phrases, chemical equations and hundreds of sin, cos, tan graphs and you'll have my mind... whirling round and round, never really fully thinking anything.
but it's ok... it'll all be over soon... and then it will be ok...
~OH-WOWverwelmed student

Final's week... oh joy!!!

2006-03-15T12:43:00.000-08:00

final's week offically starts monday... but i'm having my first final on friday. wow... that's like... 2 days...
then i have 2 schedualed for tuesday... but i think i'm going to do one of them on monday so i don't have to do 2 on the same day.
it's insane... you basically have to know everything you learned this quarter... scary. so scary... but i'm going to fight really hard 'cause this is the last and final part... and for most classes it's the make or break...
i basically need 100% on the chem final... if i do then i get an A.
spanish is slightly more complicated... i don't know what my grade will be... but i've been getting roughly 90% on most things so hopefully...
then there's math. i don't want to talk about math. so i won't!

it's ok, i can't fix anything i've messed up on before... all i can do is try my hardest on the finals and hope for the best. but yeah, i haven't been doing so good lately on the tests and homework... especally this past week... i've messed up on so many assignments...
well... i have to go study... for... everything... hehe... and finish the spanish homework... oh boy!
*runs off*

things i've been learning

2006-03-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

~how to graph inverse sin, cos, and tan
~freaking out isn't really a very good idea, nor is it necesary
~sometimes you have to skip a homework assigment and feel ok about it
~being sick is not fun nor a very good idea
~sometimes you have to sleep for hours and hours and not worry about anything
~a good friend can make you hyper for the entire day
~thermodynamics and entropy
~chemistry is so hard that you can still miss questions even on a take home test
~most teachers are nice when you're sick and let you make up homework
~my math teacher isn't very nice
~coughing with a cough drop in your mouth is a good sign that you are really sick
~it's ok if you don't have a clue what is going on in the chem lab becuase no one else does either
i might add more later... if i feel like it... but i'm tired and i still have lots of homework...
~Vani

taking stuff

2006-03-07T10:21:00.000-08:00

i don't like to take stuff when i'm sick... it always makes me act weird. seriously, i'd never do drugs just cause i hate to feel thrown off...
except... that i kinda like the feeling this time. i'm taking an antibiotic and some cough medicine and then living on cough drops. not quite sure what exactly is making me feel weird, but it's one of those things.

last night i was awake till well after 2... i went to be around 10:30 but just didn't sleep... it was weird, i didn't even care that i wasn't sleeping. i was in such a weird mood... so weird i can't even describe it.
i feel good though, i'm not coughing too much anymore. i still cough... and stuff... but it's less and at least i can sleep a little better (if i ever fall asleep) i did take a nap yesterday afternoon, but didn't think it would affect my sleep because i only got 5 hours the night before...
oh well, i have medicine and i'm not coughing. that's pretty much all i can ask for right now.

really sick

2006-03-02T17:28:00.000-08:00

hi. i'm really sick. i was sick yesterday... stayed in bed as soon as i got home from school.
this morning i woke up with asthma... not good on top of my cough, ears and major headache... i can't talk either.
i had one treatment for it this morning... makes you shake... i just had another one a few minutes ago. this time my heart is racign... and i'm shaking more. lots more.
i going to sleep. please pray? anyoene... ka, night.
~van

hm...

2006-02-22T18:24:00.000-08:00

well, i'm kinda hyper right now for no apparent reason. oh well! so long as i'm hyper, right?
my left little finger hurts... it's sad cause it's so small and yet it has like the biggest job on the piano. i don't play enough anymore to keep it strong. ouch... so when i do play it hurts.
hey, legolas, can i come live with you? dum dum dum... *dances* i'm really tired but really hyper. it doesn't make sense...

the math is too easy, the spanish too hard and the chem... is indescribably fun and yet... very complicated.
*sings* oh i would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more... to be the man who walked 1000 miles to fall down at your door...
that's a song i heard when i was young. dad must have played it in the garage. funny how i remember so many songs from when i was little. it always confuses me because when i hear this song it always sounds like they say 500 instead of 1000 and... that wouldn't add up... i remember asking dad about it and he was like "um, it does add up... 500 + 500 = 1000" and i tried to explain that i though he said 500... and dad was like "oh... ok, whatever..." it was funny.
man, i must have been young... 5, 6 maybe.

so where are all my friends? i'm like almost lonely... 'cept i'm hyper (for no reason) so i can't be fully lonely... it's like an odd combo. i always have odd combinations of emotions.
heh... i remember one time i actually was excited for a party... it was your last birthday party Sam, and it was weird because i was hyper and excited for it. i'd never felt like that before. it was like a pure emotion... and for some reason i never have those. i think that was the most excited i've ever been, ever.

totally random... giggle... hum, no friends yet. i should find something to do... but i really just want to talk to someone. 'cept i don't want to be a bother... eep... blogs are good 'cuase then you can just pour out whatever and your friends can just read at their convinience. eep... maybe i'll go take a nap... i'm really tired. oh! i think i did good on the chem test. (think being the key word there...) i'll probably know tomorrow.
yeah. naptime. *yawns* night night.
~hyperness!

everyone loves me, right?

2006-02-14T21:15:00.000-08:00

... after all, that's why i've been getting so many comments... *cough cough*

well... i decreased blog load time by quite a bit... just a few quick changes to the code...
well, i had a nice valentines day. mom got us some chocolate, that was nice... sang in the chior at school for a bit (i know someone who sings in it and they were all "hey you can come" and i was all "oh cool!") 'cause i'm like chior obsessed now that we've started one at church.

um... yeah. so i had a nice day. got some cool pants yesterday. that's about it...
~vanima

clocks...

2006-02-13T14:42:00.000-08:00

am i part of the cure
or am i part of the disease???

when everything is messed up, when life is just a wreck...
i don't know what it is... the beat or the captivating cord progression... but this song helps.
hawkie gave me the link to this music video... it's clocks with legolas... so if you love it i'll pass on the thanks to her.
if i don't stop posting legolas movies i'm going to be labled a legolas fangirl... anyways...
from the argonath music videos, it's Clocks
much goodness i pass to all of you,
~obsessed with clocks

screams

2006-02-07T23:20:00.000-08:00

College Spanish Course:
Pro: as close to imersion as you're going to get without moving.
Con: 1-2 hours of homework... a NIGHT...

Really seriously 1-2 hours a night... i'm starting to get behind. not a good thing... i'm just one day behind and... that's like 4 hours... scary, isn't it?
i got behind because i had a chem test... which is now over... (i think i did good...)
but... giggle... and now i'm kinda sick... (i'm trying to ignor it...)

Um... yeah. I just wanted to tell SOMEONE about the spanish homework... not to mention the chem lab write up due tomorrow...

You know, I have to take 3 quarters of spanish... *dies*
ok, i'm all out of complaining time... *runs off to do homework* (the sad thing is that it's 11:24 and I've already been at this almost all afternoon... cept when i took a nap... and went to work... and i'm still... oh, i don't know, less than half way done?)
soon-to-be-sleepless,
~Vani

eh?

2006-02-01T22:37:00.000-08:00

i'm really... lonely. all of my friends have been busy... well, Legolas e-mailed me like once or twice... but i need more friends than that. today... a lonely day... my head is filled with stuff... so much stuff... i should go to sleep now. tomorrow will be hard.
it's ok... i'm doing pretty well. i wonder how and why you all put up with me so much. i feel so old... and yet so young. Legolas and i were talking... and, like she said, i felt the age gap. it seemed like the first time. i am growing up. i want to say it's scary. i want to warn you all... but it's not scary. i'm ready. it would be scary, but it's not. it's not hard... it's just constant. constant something, constant school, constant work... part of me likes it, longs for more... i like to work, to make things better. but part of me wants... to read, to play music... to dream. i wish i could dream... part of me wants to complain, but that's not who i am. i just need to knuckle down and get working. i'm not really working. not with the intensity that i could be working with. i've decided to kick it up a notch... or 5. i'm going to push my limits and be everything i can be. it's more than being hyper... it means going to bed fully exhausted... if/when i go to bed... but i'm ok with that. i need to work harder because i can. i've been slacking, i know i have. so farewell old self, the plan is to run around like this till i can't run around anymore... then i'll have done enough. when i can't take another step... then i'll collapse in bed, and it will be enough. i've already got a good start...
~Vani

happily freaks out

2006-01-10T18:18:00.000-08:00

Kay, 2 things to freak out about...
1st... THIS... I found it on Arwen Undomiel... it's a MAY IT BE ENYA WALLPAPER!!! *is happy*
http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/wallpaper/1024x768/mayitbe.jpg (copy paste it into your internet explorer)
2nd... as Legolas Puppy Dog discovered... try playing the "Taking the Hobbits to Isengard" 2x as fast... it's AWESOME... like... even more awesome that it was before (yes, it is possible)
So. That's it.
~Aragorn Elessar

Obsessed Legolas Fangirl???

2006-01-06T14:36:00.000-08:00

This... must have been created by... *cringes* a Legolas fangirl... who was like... hyper at the time... and it's totally random.
Anyways, watch it... it's hillarious... (hehe... "the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits"... much funness)
~Vanimaster
P.S. doesn't it just put you into a wonderfully happy/hyper mood??? :P
P.P.S. gotta love the teen Shire music... :P

Picture Post

2006-01-03T07:45:00.000-08:00

Due to the fact that I need to post code directly into this post I have made it a picture...

Hehe... honestly it's the inside of a person that matters most to me. They have to be smarter than me (or at least as smart) very confident, bold and a Christian. Money doesn't matter... thanks for the offer though :-P but I just do this stuff for fun.(and I can't tell you how many times my friends have double posted... even tripple posted the same thing!)Best of luck, let me know how it goes.
~Vani

GPA

2005-12-13T09:33:00.000-08:00

Just got my grades... 3.86 overall :D
*a news reporter and a microphone suddenly appear* and what are you going to do now that you've finished this quarter with such a good grade???
Me: I'm going to Disneyland!!!

Dog Template

2005-12-02T17:25:00.000-08:00

Erm... Faramir... use this on your blog...
At least the colors match...
~Vanima

Drum Roll Please...

2005-12-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps up and down*
~Vani

Link tutorial

2005-11-30T13:11:00.000-08:00

Listen up one and all... here's how to put clickable links in your posts.

1. copy the web address of where you want to link to. (in other words, go to the site and copy the www. thing.com)
2. start your post.
3. chose a word or something that you want to click to get to the link.
4. type that and then highlight it.
5. click on the green blob wearing glasses.
6. clear anything that is in the box.
7. paste the web address (www. thing.com) into the space.
8. click ok.
9. publish post.
10. test the link.
11. if it works, admire your job well done! if not... read through this again and as me questions.
~Wizard Vani

eh.

2005-11-24T21:16:00.000-08:00

eh.
Aragorn

Long, Long Journey

2005-11-23T23:44:00.000-08:00

Long, long journey
Through the darkness...
Long, long way to goooo...

I love Enya... I want the new CD sooo much... Here's for all the fans who have already spent hours listening to the preview :)
Here's the preview for all the fans who aren't quite up to speed :P
Happy Thanksgiving all.
~Vanima Elessar the lonely
P.S. want the template? click here...

Quiz thing...

2005-11-23T23:37:00.000-08:00

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=051124023538-992617
~Vani

Surprise!!!

2005-08-18T17:09:00.000-07:00

Something big is on the way!!! (probably won't be here for at least a month)
I'll just let you guys try to figure out what it is...
~Vanima

On the way...

2005-07-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

I found a cool site that has AWESOME pictures... so you'll get at least one new template today.
And here it is! Enjoy!
~Vanima

Erm...

2005-07-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

We're having some tecnical dificulties... the templates are not working right now... I have no idea why not... but I'm trying to figure it out... just hang on and I'll fix it.
~Vanima Elessar

(later)
Ok, all problems are fixed now... :)
~Vanima

Arwen and Aragorn template

2005-07-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is the latest version of my first template ever!!! I will probably make some more Lord of the Rings templates because it's so cool!
But if you have any requests I'd be more than happy to make a template for you!
~Vanima Elessar
P.S. oops! Almost forgot to put in the link! here it is...

Sunflower Template

2005-06-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

This is the current template that I have! If you would like to have it then just copy the code HERE and paste it into your template.
~Vanima Elessar
P.S. more information coming soon!

hello

2005-06-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

this is just a post because it won't let you mess with the template till you've posted a post.
~Vanima Elessar

miss understood

finals R over!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let's just say...

butterfly

i live in chem lab

YES!!!

glass is sharp when you break it.

nearly a month.

LOST

farewell

don't have much time...

God is so good...

which part of KING don't you understand?

new laptop

hehe...

she turned from that path long ago...

heat... *waves*

or maybe...

*SCREAMS*

Woman

the skittles have been...

hum

ordinary day

waiting

dad

eep...

SCHOOL IS DONE!!! (till next week...)

7 minutes, in counting

*sigh*

oops...

*contemplates*

GO HYPERNESS!

it. is. HOT.

where i've been all this time...

dullish

my finger is bleeding

*little turtle voice* DUUUDE!!!

this is life...

sinking fast

correction...

eh...

confusion?

*breathes*

now just math... *runs away*

1 down, 2 to go!

Final's week... oh joy!!!

things i've been learning

taking stuff

really sick

hm...

everyone loves me, right?

clocks...

*screams*

eh?

*happily freaks out*

Obsessed Legolas Fangirl???

Picture Post

GPA

Dog Template

Drum Roll Please...

Link tutorial

eh.

Long, Long Journey

Quiz thing...

Surprise!!!

On the way...

Erm...

Arwen and Aragorn template

Sunflower Template

hello

heat... waves

SCREAMS

sigh

contemplates

little turtle voice DUUUDE!!!

breathes

now just math... runs away

screams

happily freaks out